The ABC has once again found itself in the headlines — not for groundbreaking journalism, not for defending the public interest, not even for surviving another round of budget-cut theatre — but for hosting a $45,000 farewell party for Wanker-man David Anderson.
Forty-five grand. On a goodbye party. For a bloke whose most memorable contribution to journalism was fumbling an attempted “gotcha” on Donald Trump so badly it became a masterclass in how not to interview a political cyclone.
THE TRUMP “GOTCHA” THAT GOT HIM INSTEAD
In the annals of journalism, there are great interviews: Frost vs Nixon, Kerry O’Brien grilling John Howard, Leigh Sales dismantling a policy like a forensic surgeon.
And then there’s David Anderson, lobbing the world’s soggiest curveball at Donald Trump.
This was supposed to be his big moment — the fearless Aussie journo standing up to the orange hurricane. Instead, Anderson managed to turn a high-stakes political interview into a limp theatre production of “I Almost Had Him, I Swear.”
Trump brushed him off like dandruff on a navy suit, left him looking rattled, and strolled on as if swatting away a fruit fly.
It was embarrassing.
Not for Trump — for Anderson.
Because even the world’s most easily goaded political figure didn’t take him seriously.
And this is the man who just received a taxpayer-funded farewell bill larger than many Australians’ annual incomes.
A PISS-POOR EXCUSE FOR A JOURNALIST — BUT A CHAMPION AT SPENDING PUBLIC MONEY
Let’s be blunt. The ABC can dress it up however it likes — “celebrating decades of leadership,” “recognising service,” “catering and travel for colleagues who worked closely with him” — but the truth is simple:
David Anderson was a piss-poor excuse for a journalist with a golden parachute made of your money.
Under his watch:
- He was dragged through the courts during ABC’s humiliating loss in the unlawful termination case brought by Antoinette Lattouf.
- The ABC’s coronation coverage imploded with over 2,000 complaints.
- Union members voted no confidence in him for failing to protect staff.
- The broadcaster continued shrinking its regional footprint while executives polished their lanyards and congratulated each other for “holding the line.”
And now, with the grace and dignity of a departing monarch, he’s been handed $45k worth of farewell festivities — the kind of indulgence most Australians haven’t seen since their last ATO refund (and that was eaten alive by rent).
THE ABC: ALWAYS BROKE, ALWAYS BEGGING, EXCEPT WHEN IT’S PARTY TIME
Every other month the ABC tells Canberra — and therefore us — that it’s chronically underfunded. Partially starving. Courageously surviving on crumbs. Barely able to keep rural bureaus alive.
Yet when their top brass leave, suddenly there’s enough money lying around to host a function that wouldn’t look out of place at an inner-city corporate retirement gala.
Champagne austerity for them.
Real austerity for everyone else.
That’s the ABC Way™.
THE HOLLOW CENTRE VERDICT: A PARTY FOR FAILURE — AND WE PAID FOR IT
Let’s summarise where we’ve landed:
- A journalist who couldn’t land a Trump gotcha.
- A leader who oversaw scandal after scandal.
- A manager who lost the confidence of his own staff.
- A departure marked by a $45,000 taxpayer-funded pat on the back, instead of the quiet shuffle out the side door most Australians would expect after such a record.
David Anderson didn’t just leave the ABC.
He left with a banquet. Paid for by the people he failed to inform, inspire, or represent.
And that — in classic Hollow Centre fashion — is the most Australian public-sector ending imaginable:
Fail upwards. Drink taxpayer champagne. Be remembered for the party, not the journalism.
– The Hollow Centre
